babysitter's club 4eva

i read this series of books voraciously when i was younger. i was, you could say, obsessed. i don't remember much about them now, but the one thing i always remembered, for whatever reason, was in ny, an apartment was considered large if the kitchen was big enough to fit a table in it. that little factoid has held true, in my experience. i did a little catsitting in a large apartment this past weekend. first i was surprised by a humongous kitchen in the east village. then i saw the dishwasher. and then, the washer and dryer. hello, apartment envy.

why we fight

why do we fight? i finally saw this movie last night and highly recommend everyone go see it, although it's probably of most interest to americans.

my massage therapist/spine adjuster told me i need more fun in my life. i'll try to keep that in mind. who wants to help?

oh fuck

it's not just one cd tray that's busted, it's my entire stereo. sad trombone.

in the running for mr. douchebag usa

the following story is 100% true.




i shit you not.

last night my friend, flex, went out on a date cj smith (real name), who she thought was a nice guy. at the bar, she provided her credit card to open a tab. they had a nice enough time, she had two drinks, he had three. when they went to collect the bill, he says, "you got it, right?" out of shock, i guess, she paid. then for reasons unknown, even to herself, flex let him up into her apartment. they start making out, etc etc, but when she made it clear she was not sleeping with him, he proceeded to call her a lesbian.

?!?!

ok, we're how old? so he repeatedly calls her a lesbian and says, "you're missing out on the cj loving."

no joke. then he demands that she rub his back. flex, thoroughly disgusted, asks, "why, because you paid for the drinks?" douchebag says, "no, because i'm a man."

when it becomes super clear that he is not going to spend the night, he demands cab money to get home because lothario here has $8 in his bank account. shocked again, flex hands him $5. he asks, "where is this going to get me?" she said the PATH is just on 6th avenue. he whines, "but then i need money to get from the train to home." at this point, she wants him the fuck out so she pays him to leave. she pays him to leave.

i was bawling with laughter when she told me the story last night, but i was also filled with disgust. as many asshole as i've been out with, this is truly the worst. date. ever. poor flex!

hahaha

someone has an awful high opinion of herself. is she attractive?? my standards may be really skewed, but i find her very average.

a good finnish fuck?

first off, in regards to the subject: bwaaaahahahahaha.

i'm back from my little scandinavian getaway, and unhappily back at work. my impeccable host, k, took me around to see the sights and experience the nightlife of helsinki. on our last full day in the city, we went to suomenlinna, an island a 15 minute ferry ride away.



i feel like i'm with the hobbits!

finns really love their produce. and i mean, love. they will chomp away at raw veggies fresh from the market. behold this guy snacking away on a plain cucumber.



i had a try with some sweet peas and they were very good, actually.



naughty sausages indeed. finns and swedes both love their sausage. sausage!

i went to turku for umf. this was the scene on one of the riverboats.



the djs were not very good, but that's ok. we had other entertainment. finnish bachelor/bachelorette parties are wild, all weekend drinking affairs. they go all out. the poor groom-to-be.



finns have a reputation even amongst scandinavians for their heavy drinking. i would tend to agree. this lush was put to shame. i just could not keep up. k's boyfriend could easly drink 3 beers to my one and keep that pace up all night. also notice all the blond hair? i've never seen so much of it naturally. they actually dye their hair black or brown to be different! take that, you ues ladies with a $500/month blonde habit.

during autechre's set, we couldn't help but notice this very unhappy soul. he looked absolutely miserable. i wanted to yell at him to cheer up! (the pic is blurry because i was laughing).



i happened to see him a few days later, and he looked the same.

scandinavian fashion section:

is this what is going to be walking around everywhere in a few months?



same guy, two crazy pairs of pants.





here is the crazy flowerchild who talked to me. i must have had the strangest look on my face. as k said, he would make a great trannie.



and that concludes umf. i saw k's friend's band play, magenta skycode, and have been listening to them ever since getting back, so much so i think it busted one of my cd trays and now it won't play in my stereo. ops. i suggest you check them out if you like interpol, the editors, and dare i even say arcade fire. unfortunately, they have some horrific hangers-on. one guy who to me embodies everything obnoxious about americans AND people in the entertainment industry. he scored in the early 90s with ace of base, and would not shut up about himself and his many accomplishments. "i did this, i did that, on and on." people may be impressed if he had anything to say that was more relevant, say in the last 5 years or so. i would have paid him to get away from me, jesus. his site is incredibly unprofessional-looking and is written in broken english, too. then there was this twat who was trying to pass herself off as not only american, but a new yorker. her english was very good, but k caught a slight finnish accent and called her out on it. twat started to look very nervous and left shortly thereafter. i wish i could have questioned her too, but i was too preoccupied with pompous ass there. for whatever reason, scandinavians don't hate americans like the rest of the world does and it is, in fact, a plus to be american. anyway, rant over.

i heard many things about the overnight viking line party cruise going to stockholm, and i was right in every way to be scared. we started the night off with the buffet. just look at this plate - it's ridiculous. they tend to like their fish served cold. i do not. my 'no' pile was pretty big.



to preserve room in our stomachs, we drank wine spritzers. they have wine coming out of taps!! how cool.



with our spacious stomachs, we moved on to shots. i was forced to drink grandma's slippers, the gross clay grey-like thing back there. it's made with the finnish licorice liquor. it's as gross as it looks.





indeed.



white shoeeeessss at the disco. white shoes scare me. we danced our asses off to europop gems. the dj didn't have any of ace of base guy's hits! can you believe?

the 7am wake-up call was NOT welcome. we felt like ASS. especially v, who was still drunk as we walked off the boat. i was seriously considering staying on and sleeping back to finland. at the hotel, i nearly wept when we were told the check-in time was 3pm. i honestly don't know how i got through the day. a few days later, i saw 4 tired finns who did it better than we did.



stockholm is a really pretty city.



the boys, however, didn't live up to expectations. don't believe the hype. there was a lot of overstylized eurotrash - i wasn't too impressed. i think the girls probably lived up to standards, but i wasn't checking them out too closely beyond seeing they wore way too many leggings.





i'm mature, i am.

apparently, these are the new thing. the zipper is about 10 inches long and the waist comes up to the boob area. you saw it here first.



the last showdown back in helsinki, there was a club opening that sounded kind of cool. we went to check it out and saw the crowd outside and decided to run away, very quickly. if this is what was coming out, imagine what was still inside.





k, you're a sexy beast and you know it. thanks for everything!



yoda cutiepie!

random left-overs, ny-style.

you can count on vice parties to bring out the weirdos.



i was trying not to think of the swamp ass she must have in those vinyl pants.



still have not figured out what that black bodysuit ensemble is.

unfortunately, this is what a typical bloc party fan looks like nowadays.

did you know!!

finnish people are prone to being lactose intolerant? it is such a widespread allergy here, in fact, that they have low lactose milk, cheese, butter, ice cream, etc. i was v surprised to see tofu ice cream in the supermarkets. it is my kind of place except for the rudeness. there is no finnish word for "excuse me." what they use in its place is oops! or uh-huh! oh well, can't have everything. i will be returning with not only a beer gut, but a cheese gut as well. the weather has been nothing short of awesome. yay.