hot damn

this picture liquefies my insides.

lifted from manicmess.

incidentally, the diamond nights cd is excellent to gym to. highly recommended. although - what it really makes me feel like doing is reaching for that cigarette i don't really smoke anymore, pop on this cowboy boots i don't have, slam tequila shots, down a few pabst.. and run around like a crazed fucktard. mmm, healthy.

this is about what i remember from friday night.

we drink goot.

mmh got me the most perfect gift.

you know what's like christmas? when you think you didn't take any pictures, and then the next day you turn your camera on and voila! tons of silly and ridiculous photos from the night before that make you giggle.

and the mortification

of things said and done last night has more than set in. whatever the fuck. it was a good birthday. dinner... was better than sex. not a hard feat when you consider all the fabulous, just fabulous sex i've had. but in all seriousness, if you ever want to know where to get mind-meltingly incredible sushi in ny, let me know. i am going back as soon as i have $30 to blow on dinner.

there is one person i have like, a difficult time talking to. everything i say is retarded and it makes me come off like a halfwit. i wish it would stop.

ps. no more whiskey shots. ever! puking in a sink is pure class.

ps

does anyone need some TROJAN SHARED PLEASURE: WARM SENSATIONS LUBRICANT condoms? hmmm?

(i know i don't)

hahaHAHahHAHAHAAHhaHAhaHAha

why why why

i don't know about you, but pants that start right below my boobs have never struck me as comfortable. on an otherwise slim and pretty girl, did she not realize that these 'shorts' would make her ass look VOLUMINOUS? good god, woman.

i didn't care for the whole garbage-esque schtick of this band. this girl was hot, she has a great body, but still! she is wearing a shirt as a dress and is a good 8-10 feet above the audience, affording us all a direct view into her birth canal. lovely.

it doesn't get any hotter

obvs we are all FIGHTING to take him home.

happy birthday to me

i just woke up (too rare of an occurrence) to find a bug on my arm. i instinctively moved into the light, but then thought it might be better not to see exactly what it was (let's say it was definitely bigger than a ladybug) and kind of flung it off. sam played with it for a good 20 minutes - i have the cat with no killer instinct - before depositing it on the couch where i saw it was indeed a 1 inch+ roach. maybe i do want a roach bomb afterall. are they super effective? like guaranteed? for how long before they infest my apartment again via my neighbor's? i am sooooo beyond grossed out. not to mention wide awake and itchy feeling.

so

last night i cmj'd my ass off, and there's still plenty more to come. my mind was blown by the joggers and tom vek. there are a ton of indie kids in from out of town. i know this because i don't feel like smacking them upside the head when i see them. unpretentiousness is so very refreshing. i'm bummed that i am missing about 5 bands play in london by just a few days but... I'M GOING TO EUROPE!

i'm a fucking moron. i never remember to bring my earplugs to shows. i bring them when we play, when i actually really need to hear what's going on. last time we played, i couldn't hear shit and had to yank them out. when i did that, i realized i was playing one song and everyone else was playing another. ops.

random bits

yes, it's true. i went to a really fucking posh bar for a magazine party. look at all these suits. scary.

nice view, though.

mmh is in possession of the carmen electra lap dance video. i managed to take this in between fits of laughter. there was a disclaimer in the beginning against injury. unfortunately, i was too drunk to retain any of the sexalicious moves.

oh. my. god.

i just got one of those phonecalls that makes me want to rip my hair out. heavy southern accent: oh hi, i bought this book by blablabla and i wanted to know how i can contact him? yeah his artwork is just so great and i really want to talk to him.

lady, i'm sure this artist has the time to listen to your oohing and aahing. really. what fucking planet are you from. the best is that the first hit on google was his homepage, with his email address. it's not exactly brain surgery.

i think my favorite was the one who was calling to ask me where she could buy some matisse artwork. umm, i'm the publicist for the publisher. why you think i would know this is beyond me. you could try christie's or sotheby's? fuck if i know. "and do you think they would be very expensive?" ummm, shit lemme think. HE IS ONLY A VERY FAMOUS, MAJOR ARTIST. yeah, think several mil woman. christ people are so dumb.

i'm confused

what the hell are these, and why are they popular? it's like wearing bright rubber boats on your feet. i don't get it.

another thing that confuses me is how unaware of their surroundings people are. you'd think in a city as crammed and packed as ny, the opposite would be true. but no, for even the locals, it's:

let's walk three across on the sidewalk, so no one can pass with ease

let's swing our arms all around as we walk so people who pass by are smacked (last time i checked, windmilling your arms was not a necessity in order to walk. did someone change the rules in the 23 years since i learned to walk? if so, please do let me know)

let's stand right in front of the turnstyle as we try to find our metrocard

let's stop abruptly on the sidewalk

let's block the stairwell to the subway

let's scream personal matters into our cellphone, like who we fucked last night

let's weave left and right on the sidewalk as if we were intoxicated in broad daylight. there's a time and place for weaving, and 10am is NOT it
let's all stand outside the bar, gawping our drunken little asses off and blocking the way for anyone who wants to pass
let's take 3-4 swipes to board the bus. it's ok, you're not dumb as a rock.. there's just an illustration showing you exactly how to correctly insert the metrocard
let's incorrectly hail a cab. seriously, god help you if you can't figure this out after watching a few drive by you. a cab is available IF AND ONLY IF the middle light is lit. if the entire sign is lit, the driver is off duty and by no means obligated to stop for your sorry ass. if the sign is not lit, the cab is occupied!

and to you tourists who feel it's necessary to bodycheck people, clutch your bag, and then glare around defiantly, daring someone to harm you... because you're in big, bad, scarrry new york... just fuck you, you're ridiculous.

it would be so great if people would just wake up and get the fuck out of my way. rant over.

ps, i made pad thai last night and it was awesome. this is the shit.