oh. my. god.

i just got one of those phonecalls that makes me want to rip my hair out. heavy southern accent: oh hi, i bought this book by blablabla and i wanted to know how i can contact him? yeah his artwork is just so great and i really want to talk to him.

lady, i'm sure this artist has the time to listen to your oohing and aahing. really. what fucking planet are you from. the best is that the first hit on google was his homepage, with his email address. it's not exactly brain surgery.

i think my favorite was the one who was calling to ask me where she could buy some matisse artwork. umm, i'm the publicist for the publisher. why you think i would know this is beyond me. you could try christie's or sotheby's? fuck if i know. "and do you think they would be very expensive?" ummm, shit lemme think. HE IS ONLY A VERY FAMOUS, MAJOR ARTIST. yeah, think several mil woman. christ people are so dumb.