gimme the fucking bottleS

my parents are driving me mental. i want to show them some of the nice things about melbourne. so i took them to the place that has the best coffee in the city, that i know of. my mom is indecisive, as per usual. i know she always drinks cappucinos, so i'm like, um, cappucino?

"oh, that have cappucinos here?"

no mom, they only serve tea.

"but is it goooood?"

no mom, i took you here, out of the way, to get the shittest coffee.

then she insists on adding her own sugar instead of letting the barista do it for her. she doesn't want to drink it on an empty stomach because she has stomach problems, fair enough. i take them to centre st where they get aggro at me. she then asks the waitress if the toast is regular or thick. and then proceeds to change her breakfast order twice. and doesn't drink the coffee. the poor waitress flinches everytime dear mum looks in her direction. i alternate between hiding my face, cringing, and shooting i'm sorry looks. and i audibly whimper when i discover my vs are in my other pill box back at the hotel.

and, apparently, the great barrier reef is GREY.

on another note, my grandma won $45 from the .02 slots last night.