the plan

i need to go on a starvation diet, lose 20 pounds, go to china, and shop for a husband. a rich, secretly gay husband who wants an american passport. this is actually something my aunt told me i should do, somewhat seriously. they have a dearth of suitable wives since the brilliant, short-sighted chinese have been killing off the female babies. there's no one to marry the filthy rich men! so i should go over there and snag one, play the good wife at social functions etc... i'd have to learn chinese properly but that wouldn't be a problem. he could fuck his guys, i could fuck my guys... i could travel and do whatever i wanted and the end. i think this is a very fantastic idea.