no please don't kill me

this is too good not to post. an im conversation with anonymous...

I need to get some hobbies that I am not embarrassed to tell people I first meet.
"Well I'm a semi-pro poker player and enjoy getting high and watching HBO shows"
"I have no passion to work anywhere but hate my job; and I don't really give a crap about politics"
"Currently, my life revolves around zone chefs and trying to lose weight I've slowly gained for the last 4 years"
What a catch right?

of course you are!
(ps, you forgot perusing the banana republic sale pages and exfoliating)