2006 hurts me so good

so far, i have fallen down the stairs (pure idiocy and clumsiness, not drunkenness) and bruised my back and backside. i now have the same shuffle gait my 89 year-old grandfather has - it's oh so sexy. then i just recovered from a bout of food poisoning. never has the pukage been so bad. duders, i actually puked in my mouth several times in the office. why did i stick the day out? because i took last friday off and i'm good like that. however, it was another story once i got outside. i made my own little puke puddle on 19th street. how embarassing. i mean, this rivals the very first hangover i ever had at age 16, when i was puking it up at my shitty mall job. that was a hangover for the record books it was...